Wednesday, December 30, 2009


I don't know about your faith status, but finding an anchor for love, (both getting and giving it) is really important. Love always hopes because our love is anchored in Almighty God and draws on His resources. With His love coursing through our being, we are able to see as an airplane pilot sees, far beyond the horizon. His love sees the possible in what looks impossible at first. Our hope and expectations has no limits because His love has no limits. We suddenly can see potential when futility had begun to build its nest. With love as a driving force of life, our hope knows there is no end to all the wonderful and precious parts of life. Love breeds hopes because love redeems and restores in all circumstances. Love even overcomes death, man’s ultimate fear. Love overcomes sickness. Since God is love, God always hopes you will continually be His child and His witness to the world through acts of love.

Saturday, December 26, 2009


As a child I dreaded Christmas because I was sure I would be disappointed. Don’t get me wrong. My parents were loving. My sisters and brother were happy at Christmas. A buoyant spirit filled our house on Christmas mornings. I was sure beforehand, though, that I would not get the things that would make me happy. Looking back I see how hard my parents tried to please all of us. The problem was me. I became my own focus and others did not matter. Those were the worst of my Christmases.
My Christmases got more interesting and exciting as I learned the meaning of the words of Jesus: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” The more I spent time thinking about how I could give something or do something for others at Christmas, the more exciting Christmas became. There’s a deep satisfaction in seeing others’ eyes light up at Christmas. And think about what others think of us when we give to them. Giving is a superb way to become more loveable.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009


Maybe you feel so starved for love, this post seems unsuitable for you. Try this, this Christmas season. Be the one who on purpose shows kindness and love. It will heal you, too.
I cannot think of anything more peace-filling, more soothing, more contentment -inducing than to receive love. To be reassured of someone’s love, is like having a fresh shower after a lengthy dry period that drains the earth of all moisture. Receiving love is the most profound encounter with which God blesses us. Ah, it is like being wrapped in a soft blanket of God’s loving energy. Love impacts our mental and physical well-being. Without exaggeration, we can declare that it is essential for our survival. Indeed, it mysteriously touches our emotions, but it also affects our body. Notice how much better you feel physically and how your mood improves when you receive a hug or affection, or when you have expressed your love to someone or participate in an act of love?
Loving and being loved actually improves our level of health.

Talk to you soon.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


I hope you find the following story inspiring.
At long last Trev enjoyed a friendship. As a child he walked home alone after school. As a teen he sat by himself in the lunchroom. As a young man he ate popcorn by himself at the movie house. Trev often wept over his drab, solitary life. He often complained to his parents. In frustration, he lashed out at those his age for not including him in their parties and backyard games. Even at church he felt like an alien. His life became almost unbearable.
Then Brock moved into his condo, one floor up. They met for the first time as they picked up their mail at the entrance after work. Brock invited Trev up to help him assemble a new entertainment center. He was cheerful the whole time. The next week Brock asked Trev to join him in his tri-weekly jog. As Brock got to know Trev, he began to compliment him on his well-kept condo unit and his exceptional collection of cartoon characters. Trev enjoyed Brock's encouragement but suspected that Brock was building up to some big demand. Not a hint. Ever.
Trev's life began to blossom. He arrived at work with a smile and people warmed up to him. He felt free to talk to the girl at the drug store counter. He was surprised when she accepted an invitation to have dinner with him. On the street, Trev occasionally stopped to talk to speak with some of the homeless people.
Love transforms the people to whom we show love. It tansform us.

Saturday, December 5, 2009


Empathy: Here's another way you can endear yourself to others. Who hasn’t shed a tear during a movie when characters are reunited after a long, painful separation or when a child is violently treated? That is the internal tug we call empathy. It is such identification that moves us to reach out with warmth to help someone in need. The idea is to feel with the other person in her pain. It does not require you to have long speeches ready for the hurting person. It takes just staying by and with this person. A German proverb says, “A shared joy is doubled and a shared sorrow is halved.”
Empathy also stirs an exuberant celebration of someone’s triumph or success.Doing so affirms her personal worth. Understanding another person and being there for her, goes a long way to building deep friendship and out of that relationship you will experience love. When a fellow soldier sits with and weeps with a dying comrade. that is empathy, and empathy is love. When Jesus wept with Lazarus’s sisters over his death, that was empathy, and that was love.
Look for opportuinities to empathize with hurting people. Just a brief caution: don't over do it.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


I want to continue to unfold some of the secrets of making ourselves loveable. We cannot argue people into loving us, but we can be the kind of person who is easy to love. Being fair and unselfish can do wonders in that direction.
A great true account is told in "Arabian Sands," by Wifred Thesiger. It highlights the Bible's clear caution to "watch out for every kind of greed." Greed is the opposite of fairness. Thesiger tells how Bedu men, when given portons of meat, will soon be saying, "I got more than others recieved," and will offer his portion to someone else. Soon others will do likewise and before long much, even loud, arguing breaks out about whose portion is too large, until lots are cast for the divided meat.
The author says, "I never heard a Bedu man grumble that he has recieved less than his share."
How refreshing! We like people who are fair and unselfish. We put ourselves into a position of likeability when we avoid following greed and in place act fairly

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


How can we fill our insatiable appetite for love? It won't work to demand it. But we can make ourselves easier to love. One of those ways is to ourselves be kind. It works. Here's how:
There aren't many better ways to transform someone’s anemic view of life than kindness. Any act of selflessness, or of good will, of helpfulness, of benevolence, of friendship, of favor, springs out of your own love. Kindness always fits whether it is calculated or spontaneous. And it carries a language of its own. Through kindness you help the other person know you notice her and care about her. Rarely is kindness misinterpreted. You make her feel worthy. It can be simple things like offering a ride, or affirming her when she's done something well, or giving a hug when she feels alone, or stopping to talk encouragingly when testy people crossed her path all day, or greet her at work with a smile. Maybe her spouse or room mate left the house in a foul mood. All these change the way she looks at life. You can do that for anyone at anytime.
How does that get love coming in your direction? This person will begin to send kind, loving gestures your way. It's like an investment. Can you do this? Before you get far into the day, perhaps when you're showering, say a prayer that you will see opportunbies to be kind. Tell me what happens.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


We can't make people love us. They have their own preferences and maybe even biases. We might conclude that it's fate's way that we are not loved. "God just made me not to be loved," we may say to ourselves. "It's going to be a lonely, miserable life but I'm just going to have to put up with it. I'm not pretty or handsome enough. I don't drive a low-slung, cool, black sportscar. I'm not athletic." But hold on. Being popular and cool is not the only way to have friends and be loved. Actually, how we present ourselves makes a huge difference in whether or not we will be loved. Are we loveable? I've known many people (and I'm seventy-five years old)who did not have looks, or money or never made it to the school athletic teams, but have many friends. How? We'll begin to unpack that question next week. In the meantime, talk to yourself about how you could be loveable.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


I'm the same as everyone else - I like love that encourages, that tells me I'm a good guy, that makes me feel good about myself, that comforts me. But a steady dose of pitying kind of love keeps us locked into misconceptions about ourselves. We just have to adjust our thinking to realize that if we want to grow as people, as Christians, corrective love is necesary. For example, the discipline of children when they do wrong things, molds their character so they become people of integrity. We do them a favour when we correct them. Because we live with imperfections ourselves, we too need correcting from time to time. Proverbs 9:8 says, "rebuke a wise man and he will love you." Our challenge is to discern loving correction from intentional hurt. Then, maybe, someday we'll get to the point where we actually thank those who love us in a way that does not feel good.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Love Hunger

It's about twenty years ago I came across this expression, "love hunger." At once it clicked in my brain that "love hunger" grabs the need in all of us very well. That need, I believe, is
more persistent and less easy to satisfy, than the pinch in our stomach that tells us it's once more time to stop and refuel. That's true for thirst as well. Seldom do we stop to say. "Ah, I know what that feeling is about." But we know we have the "love hunger" condition when we
begin to talk to ourselves with thoughts like, "Why hasn't so and so called me for two days, now?" Or we might think, "I wish the Jenkins would ask us to have dinner with them this weekend." Other ways to identify our craving for a sweet bit of love, is boredom or a case of loneliness. Unfortunately, we sometimes get real clingy and possessive when this "love hunger" attack strikes us. That would only drive people away. Let's talk about this some more next week.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

I'm the Agape author. I'm in love with compassion.

Hi to all who've come across my new blog.
My particular subject of interest is love; that's love as in compassion, kindness, and care.
If we've had the right kind of love in our growing up years, we will be quite confident adults.
If , on the other hand, we've been love deprived, it will show up in how we project ourselves
to others, whether or not we trust others, how we generally relate to everyone and everything.
In short, love is really important in forming who we are. I plan to provide help to all of us,
because there is not one who does not need love. Are you interested? Stay tuned. Click onto my blog once a week. Paul (that incredible writer of much of the New Testament) says, love is the greatest.
Talk to you soon.