Being loveable is not all about making yourself into a star or having a bubbly personality, or possessing the ability to speak well. Some time ago a handsome, well-spoken guy approached me about his marriage problems. He seemed sincere and could explain well the difficulties in the relationship he had with this wife. The wife was domineering. She had no clue about money management. She made up situations to hide her gambling problem. She brought huge debts into the marriage, which she had not mentioned before the wedding. And she gave him no privacy at all. Now he found himself saddled with an intolerable life commitment. I liked him and felt sorry for him.
Until I got the rest of the story. He had had an affair. He kept important information about his lies, manipulation and personal lifestyle from me. I could not trust him because he had been dishonest. He was a deceiver. Being honest and reliable still outranks all other outward qualities when it comes to relationships. Integrity should be high on our list of priorities in 2010.