LOVE AS SERVANTHOOD

"What will I get out of it?" That, unfortunately, is an automatic question when anything is presented to us. A google on the subject of “personal success” will get you over twenty-six million hits. Googling “servanthood” will bring you one-tenth of that number of hits.
The difference reveals how self-centered we are. Our Master, Jesus, bored to that precise deficiency in all of us when he washed the disciples’ feet. And Peter, the natural leader of this group of young men, represents our own assumptions about who is really great. Peter thought it had to be those who are customarily honored by position. Jesus illustrated greatness and success as acts of serving other people, disregarding our own benefits. This means for us that we reconfigure our definitions of success to treasured acts of love through self-denial.

PARDON IS LOVE

Three days after I smoked my first cigarettes, my Dad confronted me. I was twelve at the time and appreciated how he spoke quietly (not always typical of Dad) and persuasively. He forgave me and did not punish me. His forgiveness showed me that he loved me. When the prodigal son returned home, after squandering his entire heritage, his father pardoned him. That was love. Our heavenly Father knows how many times we stepped over the line but took the punishment Himself in Jesus, and forgives us as we ask Him. Pardon is never deserved; it is always an act of mercy. We receive this merciful gesture from God every day. We are asked by the Lord, God, to extend pardon to all those who violate our rights and mistreat us, and that is authentic, life-proven love.

HOSPITALITY AS LOVE

Love is a many spleandored thing. It has countless ways of expressing itself.
Being hospitable is one of them. Willingness to share ourselves and what we have mirrors our hearts. We make sojourners to feel special when they come into our homes, are fully accepted, given the best food we have in the house, and if need be, are invited to sleep in one of our good beds. I would not argue that hospitality doesn't cost. Still, giving to a fellow spiritual traveler should never be seen as an imposition. It is quite the opposite. To provide comfort, sustenance and affirmation to someone bounces back as a pleasure for us as much as it does when we give our children a gift and see the sheer joy they express in receiving the gift. The sojourner may be a traveling missionary, a Sunday school teacher, a marginalized couple, or a lonely single. All can use some special treatment.

HOW GREETINGS DISPLAY LOVE

First impressions last.
We forget that others size us up by how we greet them, just like we draw conclusions about people within the first minute of meeting them. What we say when we meet someone is a very small part of that impression.

Words alone do not convey love. “Hi, how are you?” may or may not be discerned as a caring gesture. But if you add direct eye contact, a gentle smile of both eyes and mouth, it will be picked up as genuine interest. Bring a firm shake of the hand with the above and now you have even a better chance of communicating genuine interest. Touch, though not all cultures or individuals appreciate a pat on the shoulder or a squeeze of the arm, often is associated with love. Then if the greeter can include some little gesture of kindness-hanging someone’s coat, a cold drink, an introduction to someone else, the new frien will feel cared for. Time taken to ask a question or two and the use of the person’s name will also make the connection meaningful. A kiss (touch of cheeks) if that is allowable in your culture, is a beautiful practice that shows genuine, personal interest.
Be real and greet from the heart.

PATIENCE REFLECTS LOVE

You might wonder - how will anyone know if there's love in this heart of mine? It's not the only way, but they will find love if they see patience. Let's look at this further.Patience breaths unhurried tolerance. It allows for the other person’s imperfections. Such a person may fail to be punctual, to speak respectfully, to respond civilly, to acknowledge gratefully. He might act aggressively or behave annoyingly. He may lash out without provocation. But love will give him time. Time does not heal all wounds, but love makes room for the person to change. Patience is love. It is love that understands that no one is perfect and that some persons began life with poor models, with a lack of teaching or a warped upbringing. Or the person could have made early wrong assumptions about how life should work. Patient love overlooks a whole array of irritations.Perhaps our love could be a bridge for such a person to find some healing.

LOVE DOESN'T ASSUME THE WORST

"Love believes all things" or "always trusts." That's what the Living Bible says. Love expects the best to come from people. To believe in others as a basic approach to life is mostly viewed as being unrealistic if not naïve. Basic trust in people, however, rewards you many times, whereas being suspicious blocks out healthy relationships. Jesus Christ, the most perfect of humans and also the most maligned, selected and workd with Judas for three years. He must have know the inner thoughts of this hypocrite, yet he allowed him to hang around. We do not possess the insight of Jesus Christ. So our love must be willing to give the benefit of the doubt, because it is very harmful to relationships to assume the worst.

LOVEABLENESS: Honesty

Being loveable is not all about making yourself into a star or having a bubbly personality, or possessing the ability to speak well. Some time ago a handsome, well-spoken guy approached me about his marriage problems. He seemed sincere and could explain well the difficulties in the relationship he had with this wife. The wife was domineering. She had no clue about money management. She made up situations to hide her gambling problem. She brought huge debts into the marriage, which she had not mentioned before the wedding. And she gave him no privacy at all. Now he found himself saddled with an intolerable life commitment. I liked him and felt sorry for him.
Until I got the rest of the story. He had had an affair. He kept important information about his lies, manipulation and personal lifestyle from me. I could not trust him because he had been dishonest. He was a deceiver. Being honest and reliable still outranks all other outward qualities when it comes to relationships. Integrity should be high on our list of priorities in 2010.